As with many words in the English language, exact definitions are difficult to ascertain. Understanding the words in the startup lexicon are particularly hard. So, rather than even bother to come up with proper definitions on our own, we went right to the source: Urban Dictionary. The definitions to these startup words are, to put it politely, impolite and vulgar. And of course, not very accurate.
If you're scandalized by the use of naughty words, you can find the Merriam-Webster’s definitions here. If not, enjoy:
Brogrammer: A programmer who breaks the usual expectations of quiet nerdiness and opts instead for the usual trappings of a frat-boy: popped collars, bad beer, and calling everybody "bro". Despised by everyone, especially other programmers.
Business: The opposite of life. If you are in it, you should most definitely kill yourself.
Businessman: A guy who thinks he's cool, because he bought some junk for a few coins less than the normal price. In fact, he is a greedy loser.
Businessman (alt. definition): A person who leeches off the talents/skills of other people to make a living.
Business Weight: The weight gain necessary to succeed in the business world, resulting in a satisfyingly plump form. You don't see many slim, successful businessmen jetting around in first class. It's also a handy excuse to let yourself go a little, as once you are rich and successful those women will come flying at you.
Business Woman: A woman who starts or holds influential stake in a company, corporation or other business. Business woman range from a run-of-the-mill bakery owner to a female CEO.
Business Wasted: When one gets drunk for business reasons
Code Monkey: An affectionate term for a specific kind of underpaid, overworked (often by volition), increasingly underappreciated indentured servant, otherwise known as a Software Programmer. (Derived from the Latin-Greek "Codex" and the Obsolete-Japanese "Donkey Kong-San")
Corporate Tool: Someone who works for THE MAN. A cog in the corporate machine. Someone whose net worth is slightly above that of office machine. An employee known more readily to the corporate decision-makers by his or her employee number rather than by name.
Crowdfunding: Hipster/tech speak translated to "begging for money over the internet."
Entrepreneur: Knows a little of something but lots of everything. Loves starting things then delegating them to others. Hates bosses, rules, authority and taxes. Thinks Donald Trump should have a golden statue erected in his honour. Probably doesn't really know how to spell entrepreneur.
Entrepreneur (alt. definition): French for “unemployed.”
Geek: The people you pick on in high school and wind up working for as an adult.
Hackathon: Having company employees come in and work all night under the guise of innovation and opportunity with little or no reward to oneself for the sole purpose of benefiting the company.
Hardware: Collective term for any computer-related object that can be kicked or battered.
Laptop: Mobile porn. Rumored to be used for school or work.
Marketing: Bullshit with fine print.
Microsoft Office: Unaffordable software that can be obtained for free practically anywhere.
New Economy: An imaginary economic system that will magically replace millions of jobs lost to outsourcing, downsizing and low-wage overseas competition.
Programmer: An organism capable of converting caffeine into code.
Startup: A recently formed company. In modern terminology, it has come to describe a company formed with a business model relying on the internet.
Startup (alt. definition): Is when you have a great tech business idea and you make it a real business, but usually you fail (it's okay), because you're not that f*cking good as a businessman, or because it turned out that you had a shitty idea and you hadn't pivoted in due time, and you already spent all the money.
Startup Envy: Feeling of resentful discontent one experiences when employed at a regular job and one encounters news, conversation, or personalities related to startups.
Startup Paedophile: A person who attends startup business events with the intention of finding young, naive companies they can take equity from in return for "contacts" or advice.
Software: The parts of a computer that can’t be kicked, but ironically deserve it most.
Venture Capitalist: Someone with enough money to gamble $50 million or so by purchasing overvalued companies that seem to offer "the next big thing" but in the end turn out to be just another "flash in the pan".
Web 2.0: Rounded edges added to web pages as well as a glossy/glass look to buttons and images.
Web 2.0 (alt. definition): A buzzword used by dullards to seem hip and "in" on "latest" technology, in hopes that no one will be perceptive enough to see that what's "Web 2.0" isn't new at all, but rather a catch-all term for websites that give people imagined self-importance by letting them comment on and share content with other equally moronic readers.
Web 2.0 (alt. definition): A term used to describe the victoriousness of machines over humankind.
